Why I Love Oklahoma

I haven't written anything for quite some time. Life sometimes just gets in the way. But because of the events of the past two days, I felt I just had to write.

Many people have asked me why I want to go back to live in Oklahoma, especially because of the tornadoes. I will try to explain it. 

I have only lived in three states. I was born and raised in Ohio. I got married there. I had my babies there. I was content.

 Just over 11 years ago, my husband, told me our first assignment was Oklahoma. My first thought was, "Oh shit. They have tornadoes there." I grew up terrified of thunderstorms. I was very young when the Xenia, OH tornado hit in 1974. It scared me. I dreaded moving to Oklahoma. We would be just under 1,000 miles from our families. Pretty far away especially when you relied on them for a lot. So July 31, 2002, we found ourselves in Edmond, OK. 

We moved into a nice neighborhood, where we were befriended almost immediately by the Caporales. We remain close to this day. As I learned where everything was located, I noticed people waving, smiling and making you feel welcome. We joined St. Monica Catholic Church and everyone there made us feel welcomed. They encouraged us to become active in the parish, which I did. I taught Religious Ed for about 5 years, helped with Music Camp, the youth group and sang in the choir. At my kids schools, I was a good volunteer, where I got to know many fantastic teachers and met a dear friend of mine, Devon. She in turn helped me find a dance school for my girls and that in turn introduced me to many many more people. 

Oklahoma was where I finally finished my Bachelor's degree at UCO., where that led me to more fabulous professors, my mentor, Heidi and my history friends. Oklahoma is where four of my kids grew up and consider it their home. Sean is back there trying to make a life of his own. Megan is looking forward to going back to attend OU for meteorology, which brings me to the weather. If you have never experienced Oklahoma weather, you haven't experienced anything. The weather is why the Okies are so resilient. You have to be very tough to make it through the cold (and it does get cold especially with the North wind coming done the plains), the heat (like living in an oven), the drought and of course the wind. It constantly blows. I it isn't, watch out, trouble is a comin'. 

I love the fact that you can see a storm 2 hours away. You can go to a drive-in and see first run movies, fight the mosquitoes and other wildlife. I love that I can get really good Mexican food there. I love the history of the state and it really does have a wonderful history. And yes, I even love the tornadoes, when people aren't being hurt or killed. They are fascinating. But most of all I love the people. They are the friendliest people I know. They don't care that you are to a native of the state. They treat you as if you lived here all your life. I love that most Okies are laid back, not in a hurry. It's a slow paced life and I miss that. If we have a chance tomorrow to move back to OK, I would not hesitate. Oklahoma is my home.

Thanks for reading.

Death of a Tyrant

Tyrant: a person who governs oppressively, unjustly, and arbitrarily; despot.

It's been a few days since Osama Bin Laden was killed by US Seal Team 6. I haven't said or commented on any posts that have been on Facebook or any other media. So now I've decided to comment.

I'm glad the man is dead. However, I will not and I did not celebrate his death. It may be just me, but I find it odd that we were upset when Iraq or whoever it was, celebrated the deaths of the Americans on 9/11. And then when Bin Laden is killed, people flooded the streets in NYC and DC and partied like it was New Year's. Don't get me wrong. I'm happy he is dead. I think the world is a better place without him. I just don't think it is right to celebrate it.

About the conspiracy theorists out there. First of all, get a freakin' life. He died. The body was buried at sea so his grave couldn't be a shrine for all fanatics. He died this past Sunday, not a week ago, not a month ago, not even 3 years ago. It was not a bombing raid. It was the Navy Seals who kick ass all the time. No, Pakistan shouldn't have been told about the raid before it occurred. Why tip off Bin Laden? They knew where he was for the past few years.

As for where Bin Laden will be spending eternity: I don't know. It's not up to me. I believe in a benevolent God. A just God. A fair God. I personally wouldn't want God's job. I'm sure God sees something good in all of us. Sometimes He probably has to search very deep inside people (serial killers, pedophiles, dictators), but I think He can find it. I hope so. None of us is perfect or completely innocent.

Thanks for reading.

A Mind is a Terrible Thing to Waste

I was watching CBS Sunday Morning today, as I normally do. And they had a segment on Alzheimer's. This is one disease that I am terrified of getting. Yes cancer is bad, heart disease and all those others are scary, but this changes a person completely. I also believe that my grandmother had it or a least a form of dementia. It was never diagnosed and it could have been caused by all the medications that her doctor had her on. She died almost 15 years ago and reliable tests then were not available. There is no cure. There is no way to prevent it.

Anyway, back to the program. The reporter was telling us the story of this woman, Jan who had early onset. She was quite cheerful and confused. You come to find out that this is his wife. To see her talk to him about her husband (obviously not realizing that he was her husband) and for him to have tears streaming down his face, was moving. I don't know how he could sit there and deal with it. He obviously still loves this woman, but she hasn't a clue. She loves her husband, but can't see that he is sitting in front of her. And she couldn't recall her husbands name. She had a nickname for him. The story continues that he now has a girlfriend in the real world. In fact, the GF has met and visits his wife in the assisted living home that Jan had to go to when she became violent at home. Side note: he did take care of her for a long time until she became hard to handle.

The whole thing that he had a girlfriend (who was a widow) and they were living together, opened up a conversation with my husband. We tend to go into these moral debates that have no answers! Oh well. Anyway, I said I could understand why he found someone else, for companionship and comfort. Yes, he is married to her and he did take those vows, "for better, for worse, in sickness and in health." But the question I posed was, was she the same woman he married, mentally? Of course not. She doesn't know him, she doesn't even know herself (she looks in the mirror and sees another woman, not recognizing herself). He has not divorced her, so I give him credit for that. He truly loves his wife. Is he doing the right thing? I really don't know. And I'm torn. I believe you take your vows seriously (and I think he did), and that you stand by your spouse even if they are ill (mentally and physically). But with Alzheimer's, the person no longer is who you married. Are they? People change in a marriage. We grow, hopefully together. We usually are not the same people as we were when we got married. I've been married 20 years and I'm not the same. But that's not what Alzheimer's does. It changes the person's mind that they don't know family, friends or themselves. I know of cases where patients in assisted living, become attached to another Alzheimer patients and "date" them. So who is wrong in this case. Yes, I know the moral issue, the sacrament of marriage. So will God punish this reporter for finding another woman while married to another who is not herself? I don't know. And I guess that's why I'm not God. As a Christian, I believe God is a loving God. A just God. A fair God. I'm not sure there is a concrete answer.

Now on the flip side of this, is the movie The Notebook. I know. It's a movie, but it is the story of a man who stands by his wife. Everyday he reads her their story (that she wrote down and made him promise her that he would read to her). A story she can't remember from day to day. But every so often she remembers that it is their story and she recognizes the man as her husband and true love. It's a movie that I love a lot. But it is something that I think I would do if I were in his position or that I would want my husband to do if I were in her position. It's a huge burden on this man (Noah). One he seems to take willingly. And of course he is in poor health and the movie ends with him lying next to her and they die in each others arms.

So compare the reporter to a fictional character. Who is right?

We're Mortal After All

I had a taste of mortality yesterday. A guy who was a friend of mine in high school died. He was a year behind me in school. Now I haven't spoken to him or seen him since high school, but his death touched me. Maybe it's because he was close to my age. I don't know what killed him. Probably a heart attack, stroke or aneurysm. We'll find out in a couple of days. It makes you think. We are not immortal, no matter what we think. We are all going to die, we just don't know when. I remember when I was little I was so afraid of dying. Of my parents dying. I had a recurring dream of my dad dying of a heart attack. Funny thing is, he had a mild heart attack and has congestive heart disease. He is still around, but I wonder for how long. My parents will be 74 this year. My in-laws are going to be 76. They have lived a long life and a pretty good one I think. I think as I get older, death isn't as scary. What scares me is dying now and leaving my kids behind at a young age. What scares me now is one of my kids dying before me. Which leads me to my philosophy of life: you have to live it to the fullest. We need to pay attention to the things that are important in life: family, friends and not dwell on having the perfect house, the right car or what others think of you. Time is so short. We should enjoy our life. When I die and hopefully go to heaven, I want to be able to say that I lived a good life, not that I had the right car or a clean house. So go out there and enjoy the life you have.

Thanks for reading.

No, I'm Not Dead!

I know. You've missed me. A great deal has happened in the past few months. First, I moved. It was an adventure to say the least. We went to visit family in Ohio for a week. The other half had to go on to Virginia to begin his job, so I had the joy of driving 3 kids, 2 dogs, 1 cat and a Uhaul trailer to the new home by myself. I would like to say it was pain free, but no such luck! The dogs were uncooperative (let's play instead of peeing in the grassy areas), the cat complained and I was tired. The kids were fine. They watched episodes of Psych all the way to Virginia. Now, it was a beautiful drive, but the damn GPS took us such a stupid way. We're changing that.

I'm no longer living out of boxes, but we still do have boxes of stuff that I am slowly going through to see if we need it or just pitch it. Number 2 son did decide to move in with us after all. He discovered that living with the 'rents is cheaper and he gets better fed! Actually it's nice having him here. Number 1 son and wife visited us two weeks after we moved in. That was a very nice visit and he isn't that far away anymore. Number 1 daughter doesn't hate us as much, but she is the only one not settled in completely. She is determined to go back to OK for college. We'll see. Everyone else has adjusted. It's beginning to feel like home.

Christmas. My whole family came to visit. Eleven extra people. It was great seeing them all. It was chaotic at times, but all in all a great visit. We went to the Marine museum which is excellent. They went to DC for a day. I don't know if we will be going back in the summer or not. I really want to take a real vacation!!

So now today I will be taking down Christmas decorations and getting my sewing room together. I have many quilts and projects that I want to get started and/or done.

Hopefully I will get back to this blog and get back on my observations of life. Living in the DC area, I'm bound to find something to write about!!!

Later.

Things I Will Miss About Oklahoma

We only spent just over 8 years in Oklahoma. But there are definitely things I will miss about it.

First and foremost all the people we have met and befriended. This list includes co-workers, people from church, the students, parents and teachers from the Edmond schools, dear friends and especially all my kids (and you all know who you are).

To my kids that I have informally adopted: I will miss seeing you all grow into the wonderful women and men that I know you will become or already are. I hope you know that you can always can talk to me still. It just won't be that face to face time. Remember, don't waste the talent that God has given you. Find your passion. It may not pay a lot, but a job is more palatable if you enjoy what you are doing. Just because your dad/mom was a doctor/accountant/lawyer/shoemaker, doesn't mean that you have to become one. Be your own person. Pick your battles. And above all, don't burn bridges especially with parents. Your parents will love you no matter what. And even if they are the nuttiest people you know. They really do want the best for you. It's just sometimes really hard for us to tell you. And be your own person. Don't label yourself or others, and especially don't let anyone put you into a label. You are who you are. Not everyone is going to love or even like you. It doesn't matter. You find people who accept you for who you are, not what they think you should be. I hope you all have learned something from me. Just know that I am here for you and that I love each of you very much.

I will miss:
Oklahoma sunsets. They are the best anywhere. I have seen fire in the sky when it has been cloudy. The stars might be bright in Texas, but they are just amazing in Oklahoma!

The history. Yes, the land runs, the Trail of Tears, the Indians, the crazy legislature of OK!! All my UCO professors that taught me to think and the others I never had a chance to take classes from! My museum/history geeks that I call my friends. Oh how I will miss conferences with you all and playing Scrabble in the bar! No one can top that! I will miss my time in Guthrie and all that history. I will miss the history of the OK National Guard and those people that let me be the true geek that I am. Thank you all for enriching my time here.

The weather. Need I say more. Well yes, I do! I have experienced more weather phenomena in OK than anywhere! Ice storms, blizzards, fire (within a few miles of the house), eye of a hurricane (craziness), drought and tornadoes (1 as close as down the street and the other 1/4 of a mile away). The only thing missing is a tsunami, but it wouldn't surprise me!

The wind. I know. It 's crazy, but it's weird not to have wind blowing all the time! It was one of the strangest things I had to get used to when we first moved here. Now I'm one that freaks out if there is no wind blowing.

Seeing a storm two hours away. The visibility here is about 10 + miles. I remember the first time I saw lightening in the distance and it still felt so close, but the storm took about two hours before it hit. Oh and the lightening is just incredible! I remember the first storm and thought that our house would blow away. The lightening never takes a break! It just comes one after the other! Amazing storms!

The weathermen. When you get a drinking game named after you, you know you've made it! They are the sportscasters of weather watching. They can turn a storm that is in the western part of the state into excitement of doom for us several hours away!!! It's a skill to occupy our time for several hours on a storm that will most likely diminish before it comes near us!

I know that there is more that I will miss, but the mind is fuzzy right now. Oklahoma will always have a special place in my heart. We will miss you all so very much.

Thanks for reading!

Starting Over Again

A new chapter starts in my life on October 1. The family will be moving to Virginia. I like change. I really do. I guess I'm one of those weird people who loves change. While I love it, I also hate that I'm leaving really good friends behind. But I get another chance at starting over. A chance to redefine who I am. And that's a really cool thing.

How many of us get to start over again? Yes, if you get divorced or your spouse dies, you do get that chance, but that's usually not due to your control. I actually had a choice. I could have said no to Scott about moving, but I didn't. Because I like change.

If you have known me for any reasonable time, you know I get bored fairly easy. Not with people, but with circumstances in life. And that's not to say that I have exhausted all there is in Oklahoma. I haven't gone everywhere I wanted to in this state. But a change of pace, scenery, or whatever you want to call it, was needed.

So many of us are afraid of change. We love our comfort zone. It's warm and comfy and safe. And even though I love my comfort zone, I know that I can't stay there forever. If I do, I will become stagnant. An example from my life: I was about 41 when I decided to take dance lessons. Again. You see I took ballet lessons around 4 or 5 years old for a couple of years. I can actually remember one of my recitals. We were wearing Japanese kimonos and had fans! And I can remember being on stage with the bright lights. Anyway, as an adult I had always wanted to take lessons, but time, money and yes comfort, said otherwise. My daughters wanted to take ballet, so we did when we moved here to Oklahoma. One stayed in it, the other chose horses. A couple of years of watching, I decided I wanted to dance again. I did jazz (similar enough to ballet, but still different). Then the teacher talked me into doing hip hop! Talk about not being in my comfort zone! Yikes! Even though I was hideous at it (really all that popping was me, not the moves), I did it for two years. The last year I actually performed in two routines, hip hop and jazz. I had a lot of fun and proved to myself that change is good, but really hard sometimes. I really want to take tap and ballroom lessons next. We will see what Virginia brings to me.

My whole point in my rambling is that change is hard. It can be numbing to some people. I say that even though it scares the pants off you, you need to do it. Start slow. Take baby steps. You don't have to move 800 miles away from family. You could start by taking a drawing class, dance class or learn something new. Or go back to college after 20 years and finish your degree, like I did. Change is a very good thing. So set a goal to get out of your comfort zone. Or at least try one thing new. Something you have always wanted to do. Life is too short not to try something different.

Thanks for reading!